Hi, my name is Michelle and I cannot breastfeed. I had every intention to during/after my pregnancy. I was leaking milk in the last month of my pregnancy and had no reason to suspect that I wouldn't be able to produce enough for my little one. It was a small part of the reason that I chose a home water birth knowing that a natural birth with no interference would improve my chances of a great latch and a seamless breast feeding experience. Then reality hit. You can read my breast feeding story here. Needless to say that I cannot breast feed despite great attempts at it.
I worked very hard to get to where I am emotionally about it. Let me just say that "formula for your baby is poison" campaigns did a WHOLE lot of damage to me. While I know that the natural mothering community means no harm when they talk about formula being evil, it does a lot of harm for those of us who know "breast is best" but cannot offer that to our babies. This type of campaigning is targeted at people who simply don't know that breast feeding is preferential but that formula is a perfectly good alternative to those that tried and can't.
A huge part of overcoming my severe depression and anger with my body is babywearing! I first read about it in Dr. Sears' The Baby Book. I was given both a Moby Wrap and Ergo Baby Carrier before I had her and I saw them as convenient alternatives to carrying her every where. I LOVE convenient. But there's more to it than that! Here are my top ten reasons that while breast is best, if you cannot experience the bonding of breast feeding, babywearing is an excellent alternative!
- Your oxytocin is increased through physical contact with your baby! Leading to a more intimate maternal bond and better care.
- Baby wearing totally lowers the incidence of postpartum depression and psychosomatic illness in the mother; similarly, the father carrying the baby has benefits for the paternal bond.
- Baby's who are carried are calmer because all of their primal/survival needs are met. Mama and Dad can be seen, heard, smelled, touched, tasted, provide feeding and the motion necessary for continuing neural development, gastrointestinal and respiratory health and to establish balance (inner ear development) and muscle tone is constant. Noelle is super social in and out of her carrier. She has the chance to be introduced to new people while mama literally has her back. Once again attachment helps independence blossom.Infants are more organized. Parental rhythms (walking, heartbeat, etc.) have balancing and soothing effects on your baby. Noelle often falls asleep in her ring sling while her Dad or I are making dinner.
- Infants are "humanized" earlier by developing socially. Babies are closer to people and can study facial expressions, learn languages faster and be familiar with body language.
- Independence is established earlier.
- Attachment between child and caregiver is more secure.
- Decreases risk of positional plagiocephaly ("flat head syndrome") caused by extended time spent in a car seat and by sleeping on the back. Sleeping on the back is recommended to decrease the risk of SIDS. Cranial distortion resulting from non-vehicular time in car seats has shown to be more severe than in children who develop plagiocephaly from back-lying on a mattress.
- You know the concept of holding your baby as often as possible? This makes it very possible. Find the right carrier and you can hold your baby all day long. Taking breaks for other activities obviously.
- Baby's sleep better when they are carried for at least up to 3 hours a day. Three hours of cooking, shopping, anything you need to walk/stand for. Again, their primal/survival needs are met. They feel more secure and trust is established earlier. With that kind of bond, you'd sleep easier too!
Fear not! While the breast feeding gods might not be in your favor, you CAN do something else to establish a really special bond with your baby. For more information on babywearing you can check out babywearing internation online. I would also be thrilled to answer any of your questions and hook you up with the right person to help you find the right carrier. Noelle didn't like her Moby Wrap, she HATES the Ergo (most baby's love the Ergo) and she's ok with the Pikkolo. She loves woven wraps and ring slings. Especially the ring sling. I personally carry her with a girasol conversation ring sling by sleeping baby productions. Oh my gosh, there is so much to learn about babywearing. But the first step is wanting to learn more!
So while not being able to breast feed is a huge bummer, remember that there are lots of other suitable ways to bond with your baby and what's important is that bonding with baby matters to you!
